Opening Yourself up to Lightning
by alwaysbeguyslikepotter
Summary: AU: In which Klaine are dating, and Carson is Kurt's twin who vowed never to admit his feelings for Blaine… until now.
1. Chapter 1

**AU: In which Kurt and Blaine are dating, Kurt's cheating on Blaine, Blaine's oblivious, and Carson is Kurt's twin who ****might have**** definitely doesn't have (maybe, kind of has) feelings for Blaine. Inspired by this set of gifs on tumblr: post/42843154381/blaineson Hope you like it!** (**Background info! So Burt is Kurt and Carson's biological father. Their mom, Sheryl Phillips, Carson's mom in SBL, died of an alcohol overdoes when Carson and Kurt were little. Burt still remarried Carole and Finn is lounging around somewhere, he just isn't in this chapter.) **

Sometimes I feel like every fucking person on this planet is an idiot except for Blaine Anderson. And then I remember that he's a fucking idiot too because he is too naive to realize that my twin brother has been cheating on him for freaking months. Kurt and Blaine were literally the perfect couple. When they first got together I felt like every word other word that came out of Kurt's mouth was "Blaine" and all they ever did was go to stupid movies and stupid plays and fuck whenever Carol and Burt weren't home. It was annoying. But then Kurt left for college in New York, going off to fulfill his Broadway dreams and Blaine stayed here in Ohio to finish high school. They said they were going to maintain their long distance relationship, but it was all bullshit and I knew sooner or later Kurt was going to find a new bo to play with. I mean, he's going to theatre school in New York. That place is practically crawling with gays. Personally, I stayed in Ohio, attending the journalism program at OSU and living at home. Kurt was out of the house, but Blaine wasn't. He was just so accustom to coming to our house that even after Kurt left he didn't go away. Burt and Carole loved him, so they didn't have a problem with him being at our house almost 24/7. Seriously, does that boy even have parents? Personally I'm under the opinion that he was born in a laboratory test tube filled with equal parts hair gel and awesome. Blaine Anderson is awesome though. At first, I found his stupid bowties and seemingly consistent perky attitude horribly irritating, but the boy has grown on me. He has a certain boyish charm to him that's hard to resist. I can't like, like him or anything because he's my brother's boyfriend and that's weird but I am totally allowed to tolerate him and appreciate his stupid dapper behavior, right? Right.

It didn't take me long to discover Kurt's secret relationship with Adam, some senior at his school. All it took was a Skype chat that he forgot to turn off and I had seen way more than I ever wanted to see. I could have told Blaine right then, but I couldn't break his innocent little heart, could I? So I shut up about it, figuring that sooner or later even the ever oblivious Blaine Anderson would realize his "devoted" boyfriend was having very adult sleepovers with another man.

But he didn't. For months he continued watching television in our living room, doing homework at our kitchen table without the slightest clue that the boy who had once occupied the same space was now occupying some very different space, if you know what I mean. I didn't really want to start a fracas by bringing up the subject, so I let Blaine live on in his bizarre fantasy world where everything was puppies and rainbows and Kurt.

"Hey Carson!" Blaine exclaimed from the kitchen table when I walked into the house after my one o'clock Creative Writing class ended. "How was Creative Writing?" The boy knew my entire schedule. It was creepy, but endearing.

"Fine," I replied. "How's the land of happiness and unicorns?" This was our typical greeting because I'd said it one day and he giggled about it for literally an hour, so now I use it to tease him.

"Just swell," he answered.

"Grand," I replied mockingly, going to the fridge and getting out a pitcher of juice. Out of nowhere, Teenage Dream started blaring through the room. It was Blaine's phone, his special ringtone for Kurt.

"It's Kurt!" Blaine exclaimed like it wasn't already obvious.

"No shit, Sherlock." He glared at me and answered the phone.

"Kurt! Hi… I'm good, are you good?...haha, awesome, no that's so cool. Mmhmm. Aw, I'm sure you'll do great. Yeah…yeah, I wish. You know I don't. Uh-huh. Yep. Oh, okay, I love you. Okay, bye."

I felt that was the script for their typical phone call now. Kurt would get the opportunity to do something cool, he'd tell Blaine about it, Blaine would praise him, then Kurt would have to go and they'd be done within a matter of seconds. It was getting awfully bland, but the worst part was that Blaine didn't even notice.

"Kurt's going to sing at Mr. Shu's wedding," Blaine informed me after hanging up the phone.

"Great," I said, bored. Mr. Shuster, the president of the Glee club or whatever he was, was marrying the skittish guidance counselor at McKinley. All the Glee kids (Kurt, Blaine, ect.) we're all pumped, but I knew this was the guidance counselor's fourth attempt to go through with a wedding and everyone was shitting themselves if they thought this time was going to go differently. I would bet my entire life savings in a second that she was going to run out on this marriage too.

"Come on, Carson, this is exciting" Blaine enthused.

"Blaine, going to the dentist is exciting in your world," I stated, leaning against the counter and drinking. I thought heavily about mixing the apple juice with vodka, but decided against it. They say alcoholism is genetic, and my mother did die from an alcohol overdose.

"Well they're so nice to you and at the end you get a little toy from the treasure chest…"

"Those toys are for three year olds."

"They're still fun," Blaine said defensively and I snickered.

"You really are a child."

Blaine shrugged and made that super irritating "Blaine doesn't know" face, causing me to almost spit out my juice. "Do not do that!" I exclaimed, wiping the bit of juice that had escaped off my chin.

"It's going to be so nice to hear Kurt sing," Blaine said after I'd gotten over myself.

"You've heard him sing before," I stated.

"It gets better every time," he sighed

"Know that I just made that a dirty joke in my head," I informed him.

"Well, that's gets better, too…"

"Just stop," I commanded. "Out of all the things I don't want to hear about, you having sex with my twin wins the prize."

"So what you're telling me is that you don't want to hear about the car after senior prom when Kurt and I-"

"No!" I interjected. "I don't. I'm going up stairs. Feel free to loiter in my house for as long as you want."

"Okay, bye Carson," he said as I retreated from the kitchen. Poor sucker. Kurt was being such an ass to him and it went right over his head. I guess that's what being in love does to people, turns them into complete idiots. I felt kind of guilty for not telling Blaine about Adam, but I knew if I did I'd be even worse. I escaped to my room and pulled out my laptop. I was working on a piece for journalism about racism in our generation. Not to brag, but there was no way I was getting anything less than an A.

No sooner had I pulled up the essay then my phone started ringing. It was Kurt.

"What?" I said not too happily when I answered.

"Jesus, someone's touchy," Kurt said.

"Oh go sleep with your boyfriend," I retorted.

"Fuck off, Carson. I told you to say out of my business," Kurt said for probably the millionth time. Ever since I'd found out about Kurt's cheating problem and I'd confronted him for it we'd been less than pleasant to each other. "I was just calling to see if you remembered that you have to pick me up at the airport Thursday."

"Why can't Blaine get you?" I asked. Kurt was coming to town for the wedding this weekend, which meant he and Blaine would go back to being all lovey dovey. It made me sick to think about.

"I told you, he has class, Dad has work. I honestly would not call you unless you were my last resort. Thursday, 1:30, be there," and with that he hung up. What an asshole.


	2. Chapter 2

**And you thought I'd abandon you :) Here's the next chapter! Hope you like it and feel free to review!**

* * *

In the front of a lecture hall filled with fifty incredibly bored students, my History of Literature teacher continued to drone, "Passing the traditional view of romance literature we can now move to gothic romance as we know it today. Modern gothic romance literature developed in England in 1794 with the publication of Anne Radcliffe's _The Mysteries of Udolpho_." He had been at this for about an hour and was still hell bent on covering the entire history of romance literature in one class period. It was neither interesting nor illuminating; it was most mind-numbing.

I've always loathed the traditional class set up. One high and mighty teacher up in front of the oh so humble students who live only to obtain some of the noble English teacher's blessed information. It's pitiful really. And on top of that we were learning about romance. Fucking romance! I've always despised romance as a genre. I've despised it as a practice too. I've never been one to swoon over boys or doodle their names in my notebook. I'm not Kurt. Usually just watching couples makes me want to puke blood, Kurt and Blaine especially. Whenever they're with each other literally all they do is flirt and cuddle and freaking Eskimo kiss. I can't even be around them when they're like that because it triggers my involuntary gag reflex. And just think how it will be this weekend when Kurt comes to town. Kurt will act all happy to see Blaine and they'll kiss and fuck and whatever and Blaine will think his perfect little boyfriend has returned to him, but in reality Kurt will get off his return flight to NY and stick his dick up his NYADA senior's ass. It's horrifying to think about, and not just that mental image, but the fact that Blaine has been nothing but loyal to Kurt and Kurt still treats him like a sex toy. It's disgusting.

"Now, in 1797, with Jane Austen's publication of her most famous novel, Pride and Prejudice, romance really started to modernize. Next class we'll pick up where we're leaving off with romance fiction history in the 19th and 20th century. You are dismissed."

I'd never been more thankful for a class to be over. That's a complete fucking lie, I did have to take 8th grade Health, but I was still glad to go home. When I arrived back at the house, Blaine and my dad were sitting on the couch watching a basketball game. I'd never really been into basketball, but I preferred it over football, so I tolerated watching it every now and then.

"Hey Carson, want to come watch the game with us?" Blaine asked when I walked through the front door.

"Who's playing?" I asked, moseying into the room, not caring in the slightest which teams were competing.

"Duke and North Carolina," my dad informed me through a mouthful of popcorn. "24-23, Duke."

"Ooh, good game," I said, intrigued. I set my satchel down on the La-Z-Boy and joined my dad and Blaine on the couch.

"How was class, Carson?" Blaine asked, not taking his eyes off the screen.

"Incredibly dull," I said. "We continued our fascinating study on the history of romance."

"Doesn't sound dull," Blaine said. "I wish we had romance classes at McKinley."

"You do, it's called Sex Ed.," my dad joked.

"That's not very romantic," Blaine stated stifling a laugh.

"Life's not romantic," I retaliated.

"It is for some people."

_Won't be when you find out about your two timing boy friend_, I thought to myself.

* * *

"Carson, I have to run to the store. Do you want to come?" Blaine asked, bopping his head inside my bedroom door later that evening. Blaine Anderson the dapper is the only 18 year old boy who would say he was 'running to the store'.

"Don't you have a house to go home to?" I retorted, looking up from my racism essay.

"Please," Blaine whined, giving me his stupid puppy dog eyes.

"Is it a life or death emergency?"

"Pretty, pretty, please?" Blaine whined.

"Oh, fine," I surrendered, closing my laptop and prying myself off the bed. The essay wasn't due until Friday anyway. "But I'm driving."

Blaine had anticipated this. Bless his extremely little heart, but he's about as good a driver as I am a singer. As my 5th grade choir teacher once told me, we all have different skills and abilities. "Okay!" Blaine chirped, bounding down the stairs like a dog about to be walked while I, his reluctant owner, followed slowly behind.

After Blaine and I'd hopped into my car I realized I had no idea what store we were even going to. "Where the hell are we going?" I asked as we backed out of the driveway.

"Men's Warehouse," Blaine replied casually.

"God damn it, you tricked me!" I yelled. Blaine was perfectly aware that I completely despised clothing shopping.

"Oh come on Carson," Blaine whined. "I just have to pick up my suit for the wedding and I get so bored waiting by myself."

"Fine, fine, let's get this over with," I sighed, driving toward the dullest place on earth.

One thing you have to understand about Blaine is that he pretends not to care about clothes as to not fall into the gay stereotype, but in reality he's just as obsessed with fashion as Kurt is; Blaine's just worse at it. Seriously, his wardrobe is made up almost entirely of things he finds at estate sales, which is creepy as fuck. It also results in him looking like an 80 year old man most of the time. His hairstyle doesn't help his cause either. I've tried to get him to quit the gel multiple times, but he won't have any of it, saying he'll look like a matted sheep. Personally I think matted sheep is better than cemented rabbit, but no one asked me.

"Kurt would love this!" Blaine exclaimed when we entered the store, pointing to a plaid suit jacket complete with coat tails.

"That's butt ugly," I stated, trailing slightly behind him.

"Kurt would make it work," Blaine said.

"No one on earth could pull that off," I sighed.

"Kurt could. He's not like anyone on this earth."

"He has an identical twin," I said smartly.

Blaine just laughed and continued walking to the service counter while I followed slowly after him.

"Hi," Blaine said, approaching the counter. "I'm here to pick up a suit for Anderson." The sales attendant nodded and went into the back room to get the suit. I leaned against the counter while Blaine started bouncing on his heels. He was like a little excited puppy. It was... endearing.

Inside my pocket, my phone started buzzing. I reached out and grabbed it.

"Who is it?" Blaine asked.

"Kurt," I sighed, pressing the talk button and bringing my phone up to my ear. "Carson Phillip Hummel," I monotoned when I answered.

"Give it a rest," Kurt said, not amused.

"Oh Mr. Hummel," I continued, "how lovely to hear from you. Currently I'm in a Men Warehouse with your boyfriend, so I'd lose the tone."

"Hi Kurt!" Blaine shouted into my ear piece causing several patrons to turn and stare.

"Hi Blaine," Kurt said so sweetly I almost lost my lunch all over the Men's Warehouse floor.

"Know I'm gagging," I informed my brother.

"I'll take it into consideration," he replied.

I heard a voice in the background of Kurt's call: a British voice. "Who was that?" I asked.

"No one," Kurt said quickly.

"A NYADA senior?" I asked while Blaine looked at me curiously.

"Shut up, Carson," Kurt warned. "And I only called you to tell you that you're driving Rachel home on Thursday too."

"Oh great," I said sarcastically. "And how is my little Hebrew Hobbit?"

"She's told you multiple times she doesn't want you to call her that," Kurt scolded.

"Which is exactly why I continue to do it," I told him. Rachel Berry had hated me since our first meeting when I'd called her a Jewish Junior. Since then I'd come up with several other nicknames for her, Hebrew Hobbit being my go-to, but I also like Menorah Midget, Hanukah Halfling, Dreidel Dwarf, Passover Pixie, and Matzo Mini. So yeah, maybe she's right to hate me, but frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

"You're impossible," Kurt stated.

"Impossibly good looking," I replied. It was my favorite comeback because if he tried to contend it he was also dissing himself. Ah, the benefits of having a clone.

"Remind me to just text you next time," Kurt said irritatedly. "I'll just see you Thursday, 1:30. You're also taking Rachel. Bye." And he hung up.

"Fine, love you too," I snarked, putting the phone back into my pocket.

"What did Kurt want?" Blaine asked inquisitively.

"He just wanted to be an asshole," I stated, annoyed.

"Don't call him an asshole, Carson," Blaine defended.

"Suit for Mr. Anderson," the clerk interrupted before I could reply.

"Thank you," Blaine said politely, turning away from me and taking the suit bag. He handed the cashier his credit card.

The clerk swiped the card and gave it back to Blaine. "Thank you, sir. Have a nice day."

"You too," Blaine replied, turning and walking back toward the door.

He didn't say anything to me until his suit was hanging carefully in the back of my car and we were on our way to the house. "You shouldn't have been so rude to Kurt on the phone," Blaine said after a while.

"Rude to him!" I exclaimed. "If anything he was rude to me!"

"I just wish you two got along better. You're brothers, you should love each other," Blaine alleged.

"Oh yeah, like you and Cooper," I retaliated.

"Cooper and I had a rough patch, but once we made up we started getting along really great. You just have to put effort into the relationships you want to maintain."

I laughed. "Kurt isn't very good at putting effort into relationships or maintaining them."

"What's that even mean?" Blaine asked.

I was tempted to say 'You'll find out soon enough,' but bit my tongue instead.

"Fine Carson, be that way. But just know that it would be much more fun being friends with you if you tolerated my boyfriend," Blaine stated.

"We're friends?" I asked.

"Aren't we?" he inquired.

"Yeah, Blaine, I guess we are."


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi guys! I know it's been multiple weeks; I'm bad at updating, okay? Anyway, I've been getting lots of responses about how Blaine is out of character and I completely agree. We're working with Cupcake!Blaine in this alternate universe, not actual Blaine. I'm glad this has been settled. So now continue on! Delve into my AU! Enjoy and don't forget to review! **

Ever since Blaine had called me his friend I had been having a weird feeling. You know in _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_ where the Grinch gives all the toys back to Whoville and then his heart grows three sizes or something like that? It was kind of like that feeling, but instead of having admiration from a bunch of creepy mother fuckers who live on a clover, I had admiration from Blaine. Having this admiration made me feel _accomplished_, and I wasn't sure why. I'd never had a desire to be friends with Blaine before Kurt moved to New York. Hell, I could barely tolerate Mr. Cupcakes and Bunnies when I'd first met him! But now, with Kurt in NY, something was different between us, but I didn't know just what.

"Carson, guess what!" Blaine exclaimed when he ran through the door of our house.

It was 7 in the morning. I was sitting at the table in my bathrobe eating a bowl of cheerios. What on this good earth could possibly justify Blaine barging into my kitchen? "Blaine, it's seven in the morning," I informed him.

"Is it really?" he asked, glancing at the clock. "Well I've been up since four, so it feels like later."

"Why the hell have you been up since four?" I asked.

"Kurt's coming today!" Blaine said excitedly.

"Oh joy," I said in a way that was not joyous what so ever. "And you had to come inform me of this revelation because?"

"Because you have to pick him up at the airport at 1:30," Blaine said. "Kurt told me to remind you."

"You couldn't have texted?" I suggested.

"Oh, well I guess-"

"It's fine," I interrupted. "Do you want some cheerios?"

"Sure!" Blaine said enthusiastically, grabbing a bowl of the counter and sitting down across from me at the table. Right as he sat down my phone began to ring from its place on the counter. I got up to answer it.

It was Kurt. I swear that boy had called me more in the past three days than he had in his entire life. "It's your boyfriend," I informed Blaine before picking up. "Yes, the airport, 1:30, I'll be there!" I said when I answered the phone.

"Actually there's been a change of plans," Kurt said.

"You're kidding," I said menacingly.

"Nope, we decided to change our flight. We're coming in Friday at 11:00," Kurt chimed.

"Seriously!" I yelled. "You've called me like ten times reminding me of this flight, hell, you even sent Blaine over here at seven in the morning, and now you're changing it!"

"What are you talking about, I didn't send Blaine, never mind. Just get me tomorrow at 11:00," Kurt commanded.

"Why the hell-" I started, but I was too late. He'd already hung up on me. "What the fuck!" I shouted to no one in particular.

"Wait, what's wrong?" Blaine asked.

"Kurt has decided to change his flight to freaking tomorrow at 11:00!" I exclaimed.

"What? Why?" Blaine asked.

"If I knew I would tell you," I said irritatedly.

"But we had plans to see the matinee of Avenue Q at the rival house this afternoon. I already bought the tickets and everything," Blaine said sadly. He looked so disappointed. It broke my apparently enlarged heart.

"You know," I said tentatively. "If you still want to go, I could go with you," I suggested.

Blaine looked up. "Really?" he asked.

"Sure," I said. "How bad could it be?"

"Are you sure? I mean, it's kind of," he brought his voice down to a whisper, "risqué."

I laughed. "I think I can handle it," I informed him.

* * *

Avenue Q is the freaking best musical in the world. It features wonderful hits like Everyone's a Little Bit Racist, The Internet is for Porn, and It Sucks to be Me. Then, at the end of the first act the freaking puppets have kinky puppet sex, right there on the stage. I just want you to take a moment to appreciate the beauty of butt naked puppets going at it. This musical had to be written with me in mind. It's completely hilarious. I enjoyed it immensely.

Blaine enjoyed it to, which surprised me. I thought his fragile innocent little mind was going to be horribly scarred, but he seemed to like it too. I guess everyone appreciates some wanky puppet sex now and then. Who knew?

"Best musical ever!" I exclaimed when we were the car driving back.

"You really liked it?" Blaine asked from his spot in the passenger seat.

"Hell yeah I like it!" I yelled. I lowered my voice. "Thanks for letting me come, Blaine."

"Well thanks for coming," Blaine replied. "I had fun."

"Me too, we should do this again sometime."

"Book of Mormon is coming to town in June," Blaine said. "It's written by the same guys and they spend the whole show making fun of Mormons."

"I'm in!" I announced.

Blaine laughed. "Awesome, Kurt didn't want to see it with me."

"Well Kurt's sort of an asshole," I explained and for the first time in his life, Blaine Anderson didn't disagree with me. He just kind of looked at the floor. "Hey, what's wrong?" I asked.

"You're right," he muttered. "He kind of is an asshole."

I laughed. I full out laughed. Firstly because Blaine said the word asshole. Secondly because it was so true it hurt. "Hell yes he is," I stammered through giggles.

Blaine smiled. "Like, who just moves their flight ahead for no reason?" Blaine said.

"Or calls you seven hundred times to remind you to do one thing," I added.

"Or only to inform you of some cool thing he gets to do," Blaine went on.

"Or eats entire boxes of fruit bars before you even get one," I continued.

"Or insists on being on top like every time!" Blaine yelled.

"Oh my god," I said, even though I was laughing too hard for the words to be coherent. Blaine laughed too.

"We shouldn't be so mean to Kurt," Blaine said when we had finally gotten over ourselves. "He has his flaws, but don't we all?"

"Some more than others," I answered.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey! Sorry I suck at updating and that this chapter kind of sucks... **

* * *

It was around five o'clock when we got back from the Avenue Q matinee. Carole already had dinner on the table. Bless her. While we ate, I kept thinking about what Blaine had said about Kurt. Maybe Blaine wasn't as naïve as I had previously thought. Was there even a slight possibility that Blaine was angry enough to call it off with his dishonest boyfriend? One could only hope.

"So how was the play, boys?" Carole asked.

Blaine and I just looked at each other and burst out laughing. I realized there was no way I could tell my step mother anything about the content of the play.

"Hilarious," Blaine finally choked out through his giggles.

"Obviously," Burt stated.

After dinner I went up and attempted to finish my racism essay, but my mind wasn't on the Hutus or the Tutsis, it was on Blaine. Maybe if I told him what was going on with Kurt… no, I couldn't do that to Blaine, not when he was so happy with Kurt. But on the other hand he said himself that Kurt was an asshole, so… Why did it even matter to me if they were together or not? I wasn't my problem. Why should I care?

'Because you like Blaine,' a little voice whispered inside my head.

"I do not," I said allowed. But did I? Was that even a remote possibility? Maybe.

I didn't get any farther with that thought before my phone rang yet again. You will be shocked to know that it was Kurt.

"What now?" I asked irritatedly.

"Have you told Blaine anything about Adam and I?" Kurt asked.

"Why the fuck would do that?" I retaliated.

"Because you're an asshole."

"Thanks," I answered sarcastically.

"Well I just wanted to let you know that I'm not dating Adam anymore."

"And I care because?"

"I just thought you know," Kurt replied, but what he meant was "I don't want you to get any ideas about telling Blaine because you're pissed at me."

"Did you really or are you just saying that?"

"I did."

I've always been pretty good at telling whether people are lying or not. You can hear it in their voice and see it in their eyes, but with Kurt I never know if he's telling the truth. According to him it's because he's such a good actor.

"Well good for you. Now you can fuck your boyfriend guilt-free."

"Whatever, Carson." He hung up.

I was surprised he hadn't once mentioned when I had to be at the airport the next day. It was weird how aniamite he had been about letting me know he wasn't planning on cheating on Blaine anymore. He must have not wanted me to lord it over his head, or worry about me telling Blaine. But if that was the case, why hadn't he just lied and told me that weeks ago? Did he know Blaine and I were growing closer? He couldn't. I figured he was telling the truth and wanted to let me know to take away the fact that I had dirt on him. Very Kurtesque.

But why call it off with Adam in the first place? Maybe Kurt actually felt, dare I say it, guilty. Maybe he's even planning on coming clean to Blaine himself. He may possibly not be the biggest asshole in the world.

I had only managed to add a paragraph to my essay before my phone started buzzing again. It was Kurt. Yes, tomorrow, 11:00, I KNOW!

"Hello?" I asked irritatedly. There wasn't a response. "Hello?" I tried again. Nothing. He must have butt dialed me. I started to hang up when I heard a voice on the other end of the line.

"I'll miss you too," Kurt's voice was saying.

"Not as much as I'll miss you," a British voice responded.

He was still with Doctor Who! After he swore he had broken up with him. What a douche bag! I never should have believed him.

"It won't be that long," Kurt promised.

"What about Blaine?" Doctor Who asked.

"Don't worry, I'll call it off with him," Kurt assured his boy toy.

I couldn't take it anymore. I hung up and called my twin back. He answered.

"What the fuck!" I screamed into the phone.

"What?" Kurt asked, all innocent.

"You butt dialed me. I know you didn't break it off with Adam!" I accused.

"Well it's none of your business, Carson, so stay out of it," Kurt commanded.

I wasn't planning too. "You lied to me," I said.

"Like it hasn't happened before," Kurt scoffed.

"I can't fucking believe you!" I cried. "You really don't care about Blaine at all do you?"

"And why is it any of your concern?" Kurt retaliated.

"Because I actually do care about him!" I yelled before I could stop myself.

Then Kurt was laughing. Not snickering, not a slight giggle, but a rolling-on-the-floor-gasping-for-air-kind-of-laugh . "Oh," he gasped. "Oh god, that's rich. You… and Blaine. I can't."

"What's so funny!" I asked, mildly offended.

"You have a crush on Blaine," Kurt stated, still laughing.

"I- I don't!" I stammered.

"Please, Carson, you have never cared about anyone in your entire life. If Finn had ever cheated on Rachel you wouldn't have given a single shit. You probably would have laughed. And now Blaine comes along and you're head over heels!" Kurt giggled.

"So what if I am?" I asked defensively.

"Well, one, Blaine is in love with me. He's never wavered. Two, even if he wasn't in love with me, there's no way he would love you," Kurt stated boldly.

"And why not?"

"Because you're an asshole, Carson."

"So are you, never stopped Blaine before," I deadpanned.

"True, but the difference is that I am a subtle asshole. You, my dear brother, are not secretive about your assholery at all. You wear it on your sleeve. Blaine, on the other hand, is a cupcake. And cupcakes don't date assholes."

"They don't date douche bags either," I shot back.

"Call me all the names you want Carson, but that won't change the fact that I have Blaine and you don't. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a very attractive British boy to fuck."

I couldn't believe my brother. He had no intention of calling it off with Blaine or Adam. He needed Doctor Who to have as a fuck buddy in New York and there was no way he was going to break up with Blaine. The worst part was that Blaine was too oblivious to see what Kurt was doing, unless… Then it was my turn to laugh. "What?" Kurt asked.

"You realize that it will literally take me 30 seconds to walk down the stairs and tell Blaine exactly what you've been up to in New York, right?" I informed him.

Kurt was silent. "You wouldn't," he warned.

"Oh, but I would," I assured him, hanging up the phone and ending the call. I sprinted down the steps. "Blaine!" I called into the kitchen.

"One second, Carson, I'm on the phone," Blaine called back. Damn Kurt was fast. "So what are you up to?" Blaine was saying into the phone as I walked into the room.

"Put down that phone!" I yelled.

Blaine startled. "Carson, what's-" He didn't get through his sentence before I grabbed his Android and threw it across the room. "Carson!" Blaine yelled. "What the hell?"

"You don't get it, do you Blaine!" I shouted.

"What are you talking about?" Blaine asked. "Get what?"

"Was that Kurt on the phone?" I accused.

"It was until you chucked my phone across the room!" Blaine answered.

"What did he say?" I asked.

"Nothing, he was just calling to check in. What do you think he said?" Blaine inquired.

"Nothing, I-"

"You what? What's going on? Is something wrong with Kurt?"

"My god, you're so naïve, Blaine! Kurt doesn't give a shit about you! You don't even know where he is now, do you?" I asked.

"He's shopping with Rachel for the wedding," Blaine answered.

"Bullshit!" I yelled "He's busy fucking that goddamn NYADA senior right now. And if I don't tell you and he has his way, you'll never find out."

Blaine's face fell. "You don't know that. It's not true," he defended.

"He's my fucking twin, Blaine. I should know!" I shouted. "He's an asshole, you said it yourself! You're just so fucking hung up that you refuse to believe it and that you are oblivious to the people who genuinely love you!"

"Even if it's true why are you getting so upset about this?" Blaine asked.

"Because I fucking love you, okay?"

Shit.


End file.
